25th Jun2018

NASA Utah Round 4: Moving Sucks

by Michael Chandler

War, famine, misplacing that thing you were just holding.  These are some terrible things, but they pale in comparison to the worst thing that can happen to a man: being told that your brother is moving back in, and that you have to empty your office that you’ve painstakingly filled with equipment, trinkets, and the latest in hi-fi audio/visual gear.  Oh, and that you’ve got to do it in 2 1/2 days, AND he’s telling you this while you’re at the racetrack.

That was how my Saturday was going, in addition to it being hot, and windy, and hot.  Many of you were also hot, because the heat does not discriminate.  No one is safe from it!  Except those smart enough to stay out of it.  Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for you, I had to be out in it.  And I had to be out in it hatless, because that damn wind almost blew every hat off my head!  But enough about me, and why this is coming to you nearly two weeks after the fact.  Let’s get to what happened on Saturday!

Yeah, I was only out on Saturday.  I had a prior engagement, so I had to miss the best day of the weekend.  I also didn’t watch either race from the tower, so you’re getting a lot of my random thoughts from the weekend!  Make peace with it now, or just skip to the bottom of this post and check out the gallery.  Here’s where you go to buy photos from that gallery.  Let’s get going!

Ed Mineau took the GTS 2 win, beating out the former Spec Boxster driver Mark Boschert.  I’m not sure what, if anything Mark did to the car to make the move from SPB to GTS2, but he was nipping at Ed’s heels.

David Nadler was the lone GTS3 competitor, in his blue chrome Cayman.  I know precious little about the car, the man, or the lawfirm that appears to sponsor the car.  By the way, if you’re a lawfirm, and are looking to throw money at something that’ll probably yield results, why not kick a few bucks our way?  We’ll gladly talk about you in supremely glowing light!

Paint your car, Jess!  It’s an NA Miata, it doesn’t have to be special, but this solid, flat black thing is killing me.  Congrats on the PTE win, but paint your damn car.  Don’t make me, cause neither of us wants that to happen.

SPEC MIATA JUS WANNA GO FAST!!! And in this photo is not the car that won the class, no that would be…

(opens drawers, rifles through stacks of papers)

Where is it?  OH COME ON!!!  Damnit…

BINGO

THIS GUY!  Yes, Ben Lamberson won.  And I totally didn’t have to edit a photo of him because I forgot!

The Hamburglar enthusiast took ST4.

JD Stull eeked out a win in Thunder Roadster over Jihn Han.  By the way, I get more questions about these things than I do anything else.  More than the Makes & Models Lamborghini, more than Al’s 911 GT3R, it’s weird!  And I know precious little about these things!  Jihn, JD, anyone: hear my plea: tell me about the Thunder Roadsters at the next round you’re out there.

And now let’s throw it to Dave Kizerian, Dave.


Thank you Dave.  Meme-ify that.  Best one gets a CAM shirt of your choosing.  Contest ends 12:01AM July 7, 2018.  And now on to the Thunder results!

The Thunder race was interesting because it had a break in the middle.  I heard rumor that something happened to Perry Needham, but I didn’t do much in the way of following up on that.  BUT the red flag was thrown, then a flatbed was sent out to recover a vehicle, the black flag came out.  And then we had a little break, then the cars were sent back out to finish the race.  

 

Speaking of Perry, he did collect some hardware.  He was the only driver in ST1, drove enough to get classified, and was rewarded for his efforts.  Here he is getting strapped into his car for qualifying.

Despite not having brakes for most of the day, Jason Harward managed to not only get his Evo on the podium, he put it on top.  How did he reward himself? He bought himself a Lamborghini!  I think Rearden were selling Jeff Burton’s Super Trofeo car, and I believe that’s the one he bought.  Hell of a reward.

This fuckin *throws dart at a map of Europe* Belgian?  Sure, whatever.  In Spec Z it was Arthur from Chad from Tom.  Just another day, but let’s talk about some stuff further down the list in Spec Z.

Despite fighting power steering issues, Brenden came home in 6th.  Could he have challenged Justin for 5th if his power steering system wasn’t throwing a fit?  WHO KNOWS??? But for the sake of argument, let’s say maybe.

Lyfe emptied the garage.  Seemingly every Z that was able to was out, and interestingly all were classified next to each other.  Well, except for Chris, but that’s another story for another day.  Anyway, Kyle was pressuring Vinny, but then the red and black flags came out.  This allowed the tires to cool down, which meant Kyle couldn’t get back to pressuring Vinny immediately.  Vinny managed to hold off Kyle, and hang on to 8th.

Makes & Models, seemingly soon to be not the only Super Trofeo Huracan taking the grid, brought home another GTSU win.  They also gave a young Brazilian boy a chance to turn some laps earlier in the day.

And now for your Time Trial results

Poppa Smurf, our corrections department, and the man in the Blue Devil, Todd Green claimed TTE

3rd most radical dude at the track, but 1st dude on the podium, KC got the TTD win.

Maker of a mean Key Lime Pie, Tyler Posselli took home the TT4 win.  

Colton Cisneros snuck out at the tail end of some sessions, but managed to get another win in TT3.  He’s already preparing some new parts for the next round, and I will fire off another protest that will go unheard and probably laughed at.  MY WORDS HAVE WEIGHT, DAMNIT!

A tiny British sports car defeated a giant American sledgehammer in TT2.

 

Knowing that his Best Miata is better than all the other Best Miatas, Rhett Panter put the Power Needy S2000 in the winning spot in TT1.

And finally, bringing the big lumber in the top class was Jeff Burton.  You see, because he has Burton Lumber on his car.  Does he have anything to do with Burton Lumber, or is this just a coincidence?  Jeff!  Anyone!  Let me know!

And there you have it.  Next round is July 6-8 on the West Track, where hopefully I’ll be able to wear my new hat and we’ll see some new and/or improved cars out there.  It’s free to get in and watch, so you might as well come out.  Salt City Drift will be out that weekend as well, so you’ll have plenty of stuff to watch!

Here’s that gallery I was talking about

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